Last week, Rachel and I attended a wonderful masquerade ball. It was unlike anything we'd ever done, as I talked about in my last blog. A magical evening. The feast involved being seated a table with several people we'd never met before. I happened to be seated next to an American who split his time between Buffalo and Milan. We were chatting a bit, and talking to a Maltese couple as well. 

The small talk opened, as it so often does, with me posing the question "so, what do you do?"

This seems innocuous, but as we started discussing- it was a habit- an American habit I've had trouble escaping. Because, as Americans, this seeming simple question is loaded with cultural subtext and expectations. America isn't unique in this question, but the question is still wrong. Because at its core, the small talk is moving towards worth. And worth, in this context, is equated to your job. What you do is who you are. Your job defines you. 

Except... it shouldn't.

One of the biggest differences in Europe we've encountered time and again, is people don't ask this question in early small talk. And if the question comes up...it's a what's my job? Who cares? type of mentality. 

And that's how it SHOULD be. 

Rachel and I work a LOT. We run FOUR businesses altogether. We juggle a lot of balls at once, and that's before parenting. But, we've made a concerted effort these past weeks to shift away from the constant focus on what we do, and to focus more on how to live. We are embracing a healthier work-life balance, and prioritizing rest and fun. 

This week is Karnival ta Malta- the annual five day Carnival that occurs after the Feast of the Shipwreck of St Paul and before Lent. This tradition dates back centuries, to the Knights of Malta, a group of eight crusading factions who were given control of the island, and who successfully repelled an Ottoman siege. The knights' era solidified the Catholic and Baroque heart of the island, and remains a dominant force, from the massive medieval fortress-cities they built (including the capital Valletta) to the culture of festivals and even Karnival itself. 

We went to the Carnival parade with the kids, enjoying the exuberant atmosphere, the stunning costumes, the colorful floats, and the air of complete celebration. We also embrace celebration and fun on a more daily basis. Rachel's in two separate dance classes, and I've auditioned for a musical, being call backed for a second audition in a week. 

The work continues, of course. But life is more than work. Life is a celebration. A colorful party to be seized and lived. It's a powerful lesson that we're learning. And next time, I'll think twice before asking "what do you do?" Instead, perhaps asking "what are things you enjoy for fun?"

Creativity comes in waves.

It comes in moments of success.
I'm thrilled with the reception Making it Up is getting. And I'm loving life.

This past weekend, my wife and I attended a full masquerade ball. This was an event unlike any other I've ever experienced. Period costumes, mingling with people in character, and a gourmet four-course meal. All in an actual Baroque palace in Valletta. It was Bridgerton come to life. We even took group minuet dancing lessons the week before as part of the experience. And we loved every moment. 

The masquerade we attended is now my current ANCHOR. As I show in the book, an Anchor is a an intense positive memory that allows you to self-regulate with kids and in all aspects of life. So, for instance, when my daughter flipped out this morning that the pancake I had made her looked more like a blob than a unicorn, the Anchor kept me steady.

But it is more than just regulation... it is freeing. For the first time in over 14 years, I auditioned for the stage last night. Creativity unleashed. Ironically, auditioning for one of the largest Maltese troupes, named Masquerade.

And when I awoke... for the first time in MONTHS... my newest WIP (a romantasy) was FLOODING my mind. A new massive twist, which changes everything in the book... and takes place at a Baroque style masquerade. Y

Yes, it fits PERFECTLY.

Life is about seizing joys. Using them to succeed, and building upon them. Creativity unleashed is the reward.

​And still, I dance on.